A Hoot & a Holler

Stone.

2009-11-18T23:25:00.000-05:00

June 17th, 2009

2009-06-17T14:17:00.002-04:00

I cannot believe that it has been five years since you departed.

you have fallen from hurt and into memory.

Camera Obscura

2009-04-15T09:17:00.003-04:00

have a new record out and the folks at NPR have posted the whole album for our listening pleasure.

it's worth a listen. Tracey-anne's voice is always good to hear.

here:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=102873897

Adventureland

2009-04-15T09:14:00.002-04:00

Seeing this movie made me realize that I quite enjoyed 1987.

Everything was so important and yet nothing mattered.

oh to be 17 forever.

heard.

2009-04-08T16:00:00.003-04:00

"Fuck it. I'm going," he said.
And with that, away he went.

sprung

2009-03-30T15:45:00.000-04:00

2009-03-24T23:01:00.000-04:00

Before the noise, there was the brief glimpse of light and then the noise turned to a crushing fear followed by darkness. A piece of, what felt like the door, was stabbing him in the ribs and his left knee was pressed up against his cheek. The pain was coming. He just had to calm down and wait for it.

jesus.

2009-03-23T22:11:00.000-04:00

i h ave no

thin g to s ay.

Top 10 Albums of 2008

2009-01-01T12:14:00.003-05:00

There have been so many lists around this time of year, I thought one more wouldn't hurt.

Here are my favourites:

10. Atlas Sound - Let the blind lead those... ( Beautifully atmospheric.)

9. Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks - Real Emotional Trash (I didn't like this at first but now...Damn he's good.)

8. The Sea and Cake - Car Alarm (A fresh sound from an old favourite.)

7. Department of Eagles - In Ear Park (Grizzly Bear offshoot. Love that.)

6. TV on the Radio - Dear Science ( Exciting nerd rocker.)

5. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes (The vocals on track three stop me every time.)

4. No Age - Nouns (just plain exciting punk rawk to soothe the soul.)

3. Deerhunter - Microcastles (a last minute surprise - stunning.)

2. Portishead - Third (The Rip is transcending)

1. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago... ( One of the most beautiful and personal records I have ever heard.)

Notables:

She & Him - Volume One. (Caught me by surprise. Zooey's voice is a gift.)

Judy Garland - Judy Live at Carnegie Hall. ( An oldie that I had never heard until this year. It's a fantastic snapshot of a forgotten era. Truly impressive performance with the fantastic banter included.)

Happy New Year.

2009-01-01T12:12:00.001-05:00

Resolution no. 1.

Time to finish what was started.

No more beginnings.

God rest ye merry gentle folk.

2008-12-24T21:55:00.002-05:00

To all that I love and admire,

Merry Christmas.

xho xho xho

Broken Social Scene Nov. 27, 08

2008-12-15T21:38:00.002-05:00

From the mouth of the five-year-old at dinner.

2008-12-15T21:33:00.003-05:00

Would you rather:

Shower with cockroaches or eat the fleas off a dogs bum?

Wasn't expecting that question.

(i chose the cockroach shower)

November 4th

2008-11-04T10:56:00.002-05:00

happy birthday mom.

keeping old traditionas alive.

x

November pt 2.

2008-11-04T10:54:00.001-05:00

I dearly miss Mad Men.

there is a vacant lot in my Sunday.

November

2008-11-04T10:20:00.002-05:00

"And so," he said peering at the most recent photograph of himself, "It would appear that gravity...is winning."

Happy birthday.

toes

2008-10-15T22:21:00.000-04:00

i like where they boldly goes,

they stick their heads out

and say their helloes,

there is something fun about your toes.

they never wander and they never grows.

they aren't always out there

like the tip of our nose,

but your nose has nothing

next to your beautiful toes.

in spring i love the way they take a peak

aching from the winters boot worth of sleep.

brightly coloured they appear

fresh from an aetheticians trim.

- well groomed aubergine heads -

but most of all,

i like your toes when

they are next to mine in bed.

2008-10-15T21:38:00.000-04:00

Thoughts for Conversations

2008-09-04T22:14:00.002-04:00

"You know," he said in-between bites of his salad, "I was thinking of the Beatles."

She said nothing. He continued.

"There are no bad Beatles' albums. There are only debates about which one is the best. "

"Huh," she said, "You're right."

"It's an interesting thought."

yesterday was playing in the background.

they finished their meal in silence.

Deflated

2008-08-06T21:58:00.002-04:00

a flat tire

left me tired

at the end of

what turned

out to be a

really

lousy

day.

Today I...

2008-08-05T22:59:00.003-04:00

Today I actually saw water rolling off of a duck's back.

But in all actualities it was a goose.

And so it was my day.

the coincidence coincidence

2008-08-03T22:52:00.003-04:00

Was at at meeting pitching a jingle when this woman I vaguely know who is the spokesperson for a hearing aid company is mentioned. I mention that I know this person.

I bump into her at a family picnic on Saturday.

Coincidence.

Just a coincidence.

999 songs but the bitch ain't one.

2008-08-03T22:49:00.001-04:00

with the most recent purchase of Grizzly Bear's "Yellow House", I now have 999 songs in my Mac's itunes.

It it such a lovely number.

The Coldplay Coincidence

2008-07-29T21:44:00.003-04:00

Saturday. Chris Martin woke me up with his singing which is an unusual occurrence seeing that he was neither with me in my bed or on the radio (which was not on). Still, Vida la Vida was playing somewhere in the back of my mind while I dreamt and was playing loud enough to awake me.

I stumbled out of my bed in my usual Saturday morning routine and made my way downstairs to get the paper, feed the cats and make coffee - it is a sad telling of age that there is so formal a routine. I fear that were I to veer from this well worn path the day would never begin - though this is another story of neurosis for another time. I still couldn't explain why Chris Martin woke me in such a manner.

Normally, after the out-of-the-bed-stumble, I turn on the radio first thing (as I alluded, my life is a routine). On this particular morning i was fairly eager to test out my theory that the song must be playing on the radio - one of those chance moment that always happen and are the beginnings to those small stories that end with " That's so freaky".

So I turned on the radio. It had been tuned to the MIX - a station seemingly devoted to the playing of Coldplay and bands that sound like Coldplay. My wife listens to this station. I do by default and when I want to hear Coldplay.

To my surprise they were not playing Viva la Vida or any other of the group's songs. I thought of calling the station to ask what was wrong but I had a cat mewing for food at my ankle.

Undeterred I immediately turned the radio dial and tuned in another station. CBC Radio 1. Public radio. My station. The station that never plays Coldplay and never would unless they were Canadian and probably still wouldn't out of spite toward their popularity. It would be a perfect psychic coincidence moment if they were to play the song and it would be better served by having the irony of being played on the CBC. What a morning it would be.

No luck. No Coldplay. Just some song by Sergio Garcia. Perfect for the CBC.

Truthfully I was a little disappointed. I really wanted to hear the song so I could arrive at work armed with a good story about coincidence and psychic possibilities that would end with "That was so freaky."

I left my radio and my hopes of hearing more Chris Martin (remember he was in my head earlier) and went downstairs to clean the cat litter - my Saturday mornings just keep getting sexier I know. So I am downstairs scooping and half listening to the tail end of Sergio Garcias' esoteric opus when I hear the opening chords to:

Vida la Vida.

On the CBC.

After Chris Martin woke me up.

That's so freaky.

Nothing a Beer Couldn't Solve

2008-07-24T22:20:00.001-04:00

On Thursday he ate his lunch in the elevator.

It was that kind of day.

Post #100

2008-07-17T17:37:00.001-04:00

There is a remarkable sadness
that comes when
seeing a
beautiful woman
in bad shoes.

A Memoir

2008-07-07T22:46:00.001-04:00

I grew up in a family that was obsessively neutral about birthdays. Enthusiasm of any sort was duly squashed and put in it's rightful place.

Faeries Among Us or Quite Possibly the Best Photo Ever.

2008-06-24T22:42:00.000-04:00

Victims of un-synchronized passion

2008-06-23T22:41:00.003-04:00

It's plain from both sides of the correspondence (the JFK Library already had 31 letters and telegrams from Dietrich to Hemingway, sent between 1950 and 1961) that the strong emotional bond between them was matched by a comparable physical attraction. Intense protestations of love pepper the correspondence .

Yet Dietrich and Hemingway were never lovers. They were, as Hemingway once remarked to his friend and future biographer A.E. Hotchner , "Victims of un-synchronized passion." Whenever one party was unattached, the other was not.

The lack of physical consummation may have contributed to the often-heated sentiments Hemingway expressed. "What do you really want to do for a life work?" he wrote on June 19, 1950. "Break everybody's heart for a dime? You could always break mine for a nickel and I'd bring the nickel." Later in that letter, he refers to his new novel as "Under the Arm-Pits and Into the Trees."

(Mark Feeney, The Boston Globe | March 27, 2007)

June 17th

2008-06-17T22:54:00.002-04:00

Clouds could not push away the

warmth i felt for you today.

I listened to Norah Jones and thought

about the grandson you never met

who holds your name as his.

Corrie.

The Greatest Song of All Time

2008-06-10T21:32:00.002-04:00

- CJRW, Home of the classic hits.

- Hi, is this Nighttime Dan?

- Yes it is. Who am i speaking with?

- This is The Greatest... but first off I'd like to tell you that I'm a really big fan.

- That's nice to hear. Do you have a request?

- ...and that I'm a first time caller but a long time listener.

- Thanks for calling so what's your request.

- Oh yes, excuse me, I'm a bit nervous.

- Just spit it out.

- Okay. Here goes. Ahem. I'd like you to play the The Greatest Song of All Time.

- And what would that be?

- Be? It's The Greatest Song of All Time.

- I'm sorry sir but I'll need a title.

- It's The Gre...

- Song of all time. Yes sir, but I'll still need a song title or an artist.

- I told you it's...

- look I'm not that great at guessing games and we got a line up of callers so just tell us what the greatest song of all time is and we'll play it for you.

- it's me.

- what?

- It's me. I'm The Greatest Song of All Time.

- Really sir?

- Really.

- Are you sure? Because i've never heard of you.

- That's because you haven't played me.

- But it's just not that easy sir - umm may I call you Greatest?

- Sure.

- Look Greatest, I'm sure you are great and that people really love you but I just can't play something unproven that no one has ever heard.

- But they will.

- Perhaps but not here. Here we play the Beatles and their like.

- Who?

- The Beatles. The greatest band of all time?

- Hey we have the the same first name.

- Thanks for calling sir.

- Wait! Please!

- Yes sir.

- Could you play Rocket Man instead?

- Right away sir.

A Postcard from London

2008-06-10T21:29:00.002-04:00

The Future is...

2008-05-21T11:02:00.001-04:00

The Arrival

2008-05-21T11:01:00.001-04:00

from the perspective of fireworks

2008-05-20T16:11:00.004-04:00

On May 19th there were fireworks.
Vibrant red chrysanthemums
exploding in the sky.
We didn't speak
most of the way home.

PaD #21

2008-04-23T21:46:00.000-04:00

going home now.

long

day

over

PaD #20

2008-04-22T21:56:00.001-04:00

i looked for you

in the winter

and found you

laying between

crisp white sheets.

PaD #19

2008-04-21T21:58:00.000-04:00

you can see me,

but have stopped

looking.

PaD #18

2008-04-21T21:49:00.002-04:00

i've allowed my posts

to fall by the way,

but now I am back

with my poem a day.

PaD #17

2008-04-17T21:08:00.002-04:00

there is no one there

today to tell you something.

you are beautiful.

PaD #16

2008-04-16T16:06:00.004-04:00

I like to pretend that
Alec Baldwin is in my head.

Narrating my events like
getting up and going to bed.

"With a little bit of bluster,"
or
"with a calm disguise he went about his day."
These are the words that
Alec Baldwin in my head would say.

But here I am the only voice in my skull
is mine alone - there's no trace of
Alec Baldwin at all.

No "The thing about..."
or "He felt this way."
said by Alec Baldwin in his
Alec Baldwin way.

Alas, my inner voice
is no where near as neat.

I'm hoping Alec Baldwin's becomes
available
that truly would be a treat.

From Schweaty Balls to GlenGarry, to
Describing Tennebaum's strife,

If Alec Baldwin narrated me,
It would be a wonderful life.

PaD #15

2008-04-15T11:23:00.001-04:00

i can't have you here.
the line he crossed was her line.
you have to go back.

PaD #14

2008-04-14T16:21:00.002-04:00

and in the end
nothing was broken
except for a few
hearts.
casualties of war.

PaD #13

2008-04-14T09:58:00.003-04:00

the sun is out,
the grass is green,
winter is almost dead.
it's warm outside
yet cold indoors,
for I am sick in bed.

PaD #12

2008-04-12T21:28:00.000-04:00

hands on body.

skin on skin.

on and off

and

in-between.

PaD #11

2008-04-12T21:24:00.003-04:00

the crisp, clean white shirt

makes the very best impression.

a knight in armour.

PaD #10

2008-04-10T21:40:00.004-04:00

a bit of self pity.

a writer writes

just as cuts must bleed.

just as day will be night

and grass is from seed.

but this writer here,

doesn't write anymore

his down is up

and his pen is a bore.

PaD #9

2008-04-10T00:30:00.003-04:00

lay down on the grass

with me and run your fingers

through my fresh cut hair.

PaD #8

2008-04-08T21:08:00.004-04:00

mouth to mouth,

toe to toe,

hand on back,

nose to nose.

eyes open,

will

closed.

we're together.

we're alone.

lips to lips

and

loin to loin.

resist if you wish but

you know where this is going.

PaD #7

2008-04-07T20:39:00.003-04:00

sunrise

gravity gets us all

though

a part of me remains

defiant

especially

when you wear your

favourite shirt.

PaD #6

2008-04-06T12:44:00.003-04:00

Tulips, Daffodils and Dirt

Spring is here, spring is here.

Tulips and daffodils and dirt.

Blessed are the sightings of

the short and flowing skirt.

Spring is here, spring is here.

Tulips daffodils and dirt.

It also means the taking off

of my neighbour's blasted shirt.

PaD #5

2008-04-05T12:42:00.000-04:00

Today,

will be spent

thoughts

you.

PaD #4

2008-04-04T14:47:00.000-04:00

could

stare

you

all

day.

10 Things Wrong

2008-04-03T22:07:00.004-04:00

Excerpt from Dean Wareham's memoir "Black Postcards: A Rock n Roll Romance"

I can see why they were so upset with me. How could a friend do such a thing? But I would counter that we were not quite friends at that point. We were bandmates. Our friendship didn't go down the drain in a minute flat. Our friendship had been trickling down the drain for a couple of years now.

Was there something wrong with Damon and Naomi? Or course there was—my therapist says there are ten things wrong with every person. There are plenty of things wrong with me, too.

Some of my best friends are crazy. But that's okay, because I don't have to ride in a van with them for five weeks. We're just friends. Damon and Naomi were lovely people, brilliant and artistic and likable. I loved Damon's fluid, jazzy style on the drums, and Naomi's simple and melodic bass parts. I like Damon's poetry and Naomi's miniature paintings. But they were driving me crazy.

10 things huh?

Damn.

PaD #3

2008-04-02T22:55:00.003-04:00

Dirty.

a fantastic thought

passed through me

while we were speaking.

but i refuse to tell you.

this one is mine.

Theology from a Four-Year-Old

2008-04-02T22:54:00.000-04:00

"I guess God must be the last number."

huh.

Poem a Day #2

2008-04-02T22:40:00.002-04:00

oh the joy in writing a poem a day,

and delighting in the trickiness of

tricky word play.

i'll pile the words high

with a metaphorical shovel,

anything to put off

writing that dammed

novel.

Poem a Day # 1

2008-04-01T09:57:00.002-04:00

Some need
a kiss upon the forehead.

Some need
a kiss against a wall.

Some need
to be left to their lonesome,

Without any kisses at all.

It's National Poetry Month.

2008-03-31T22:07:00.003-04:00

Sounds like a time for celebration.

Or perhaps some poetry.

Good or bad the challenge has been given.

The gauntlet thrown down.

A poem a day - good or bad - for the month of April.

As seen here: http://laurelsnyder.com/?p=19

A warning:

It's not going to be pretty.

Anthony Minghella is Dead

2008-03-18T22:14:00.002-04:00

I will truly, madly, deeply miss his voice.

Gravity

2008-03-10T22:33:00.000-04:00

Her breasts drooped and curved.

She caught him looking.

Just Looking

2008-03-10T22:03:00.001-04:00

“What?” she would ask.

“Nothing.” He’d respond and keep staring, a smile crawling across his face.

“What?” she’d say annoyed.

“Just looking,” he’d say.

“Stop.”

And he would. It was over just like that. He had learned not to pursue the point. Engagement was not going to happen. He let it go.

New Favourite Album

2008-03-10T22:00:00.001-04:00

Grizzly Bear - The Friends EP

It is indie-rock with banjo and the Beatles.

Or something like that.

The Six Word Memoir pt 3

2008-03-10T21:58:00.002-04:00

He let go and never recovered.

Saturday Night

2008-03-09T00:13:00.002-05:00

"You will never age for me."

"Write me well."

I simply adore Shakespeare in Love and I write this with a tear in my eye.

It's a mystery really.

Today

2008-03-05T22:58:00.001-05:00

Deanna got felt up by a raindrop.

"It's cold," she shrieked.

The Six Word Memoir pt 2

2008-03-04T23:26:00.002-05:00

His last act was with her.

The Six Word Memoir pt 1

2008-03-04T23:24:00.000-05:00

He got lost finding his way.

La Luna

2008-03-04T21:40:00.003-05:00

He lay there staring out his bedroom window hoping she was looking at the same moon.

Sunday Morning Swimming Lessons

2008-03-04T21:26:00.004-05:00

The lifeguards are blurry-eyed wearing night before hair.

what's new on your block?

2008-02-19T22:23:00.008-05:00

the
writing,

not

coming

perhaps soon

perhaps

A Valentine's Thought

2008-02-14T00:29:00.000-05:00

thinking of blue

2008-02-13T21:29:00.000-05:00

hands free

2008-02-13T21:14:00.004-05:00

take my hand, he said he said.

like this? she said she said.

and place it where you wish, he said he said.

like here? she said.

and here? she said.

where ever you wish, he wished he wished.

how about inside here? she touched she touched.

it's warm, he said he said.

you moved, she said she said.

hold still, she said she said.

i like this place, he said he said.

Just to be Daring

2008-01-16T22:12:00.000-05:00

Just to be daring,

he started the day

by putting his pants on

with both legs

at the exact same

time.

This Space is Ours ( A Class Project)

2008-01-13T17:24:00.000-05:00

“Can you believe that about Reese and Ryan?”

‘Who?”

“Witherspoon and her husband!”

“What happened to them now?”

“Are you kidding? Ooh over there, there there. Damn. I hate small cars. Try over there.”

“I’d love too. “

“Over there. There’s a space over there.”

“It’s not a space.”

“Just go.”

Where?

“There. Next to the car.’

“Where am I looking? Where am I looking?”

“You just passed it. Nice going.”

“There will be other spaces I’m sure.”

“I should have driven.”

“That space would have been ours then.”

“It would.”

“Then we’d be shopping. Think of the happiness.”

“You didn’t have to come.”

“Why?”

“If you are going to act like this all day I would prefer you to stay home.”

“Like what? What am I doing?”

“You’re being an idiot.”

“Oh that’s nice. Name calling over a parking space.”

“But why do you always want to park so far away? It just doesn’t make sense.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Would it kill you just to look around closer to the door? Apparently it would.”

“Wait a sec. It’s a five minute walk versus like 20 minutes of driving in circles.”

“It’s cold.”

“Deal with it.”

“Look! Right there. There, there.”

“What?”

“Slow down on the right. (pause) “What’s wrong with you?”

“Apparently everything.”

“Why didn’t you just park there?”

“I didn’t see it.”

“Why? Was the space too empty for you?”

“Don’t be sarcastic.”

“Am I sounding too much like you?”

“Fuck off.”

“Don’t talk to me that way.”

“Woah hold on. You just called me an idiot.”

“You’re being an idiot and it’s way different than ‘fuck-off.”

“How?”

“Don’t be obtuse.”

“I’m not being obtuse. I’m standing up for myself.”

“By telling me to fuck-off.”

“You called me an idiot. Fuck. When is that nice?”

“Over there.”

“I see it.”

(pause)

“Are you crying?”

“Shh.”

“Is this about parking?”

“No it’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“It’s so sad. It’s just so sad.”

“What?”

“Reese and Ryan.”

“Really?”

“It’s just so sad.”

“Have you talked to Reese? Is she doing okay?”

“Fuck you.”

“You’re crying over two people you’ve never met. It’s a little bit silly.”

“I know. I just thought they were different.”

“You just never know. Point a finger at any marriage and it could be falling apart.”

“It’s just so sad.”

“We’ll send them flowers. Okay?”

“Idiot.”

“I love you too. Do you want to go in?”

“No. Let’s just go home.”

“And waste this perfect parking spot?”

“It’s is pretty good isn’t it?”

“Come on. We’ll be quick.”

Val Kilmer's Back

2008-01-09T23:18:00.000-05:00

thankful

2008-01-09T23:09:00.000-05:00

he is surrounded by great talent and kind hearts.

for that he is truly thankful.

Juno

2007-12-27T00:29:00.000-05:00

So have you seen Juno?

Well it has performances in it that challenge expectations.

It challenges types and challenges preconceived notions.

Singing?

Hooray! It ends with a song.

Why end with tears when a well placed song will do the soul much nicer?

Perhaps most things should.

A heavenly distraction from writing.

Conversations with Lovers

2007-11-20T10:17:00.000-05:00

“That was fantastic.” He said for the second time.
“Mmmm.” She agreed.
“It’s been too long.”
“Mmm. Do you have any Kleenex?”
He handed her the box next him. She removed three and proceeded to tidy herself up. Finished, she balled up the spent Kleenex in her fist and held it for future disposal. They lay there in the quiet of the bedroom.
“That was amazing.”
“You said that already.” She smiled. “Water?”
He reached to his bedside table once again and grabbed the bottle of water. He took a long sip and passed the bottle on. She drank and then played with the cap – tightening and loosening, tightening and loosening.
“It was good for you right?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know. You just seem so…” He thought for a moment. “A little distant or something.”
She stopped playing the lid game.
“I’m right here? Not distant.”
“So you’re not mad?’
“No why?” She sounded agitated. She was.
“You just seem a little ‘not there’ or something.”
“We just had sex. What more do you want? Stop being paranoid.”
Should I tell her now? He thought to himself. He opted for anger instead.
“There’s nothing paranoid about it!” He blurted. “It’s an observation. I’m allowed to have them right?”
Damn. He thought. She knows.
“For a guy who just got laid…” She didn’t repeat the obvious. She sat up in bed and scanned the floor for her underwear.
“Where are you going?”
“Nothing.” She didn’t look at him. With her underwear on, she turned to him. “Have you seen my phone?”
“No.”
“I hear it ringing. Where the fuck is my phone?”
“Who Cares? We’ll find it later.”
“No. I need my phone now.”
“But I wanted to talk about something.”
“I don’t have time for that.” She was half dressed and walking in and out of the room searching for her phone.
Just say it. He thought to himself. Blurt it out. Say something.
For the first time she seemed to notice him.
“What’s with you?”
This is your chance.
“Nothing.” He backed down. “When will you…”
“Found it! Fuck!” The phone had stopped ringing. She scrolled threw the missed numbers.
“Fuck.” She repeated. “I have to go.”
“Okay.” Was all he could say.
She finished dressing and left the room dialing a number. He heard her head down the stairs and out the front door. He went to the window to watch her leave but saw that she was standing on the lawn in front yelling into phone. He wanted to call out to her, to say goodbye. He opened the window only to hear:
“Well I just fucked someone too. Does that make you happy?”
A passing bus drowned out the rest.

Lament

2007-11-13T12:42:00.001-05:00

He woke up blue one bright morning.
His car broken, he travelled by bus.

Notes from The Instructor

2007-11-13T12:37:00.000-05:00

Vanity is getting in the way of his writing.
He needs to be less concerned with writing poorly and focus on writing.
He felt his writing didn't breathe. The sentences were a "little tight."
He is not allowing time to write.
He needs to relax.
He needs to be selfish with his writing.
He needs to find another 8 hours in the week.

November

2007-11-01T21:45:00.000-04:00

With cardiganed shoulders he shrugged at the coming winter.
He thought of the grass.
Blades of green under snow.
Lovers beneath crisp white sheets.

The Class Project on 8.5x11

2007-11-01T21:34:00.000-04:00

- 911. What's your emergency?

"Hi, I seem to have a problem. I think I'm in trouble."

- Sir are you in danger?

"I think so. If not, danger is imminent. It's unlike any kind of pain I've experienced."

- Can you tell me what is wrong?

"Well, it's..."

-Sir?

"I think I'm in love."

- You think or you are?

"I....Think...in...Love."

-Hold on sir. A crew is on it's way.

"I"ll be waiting."

The Latest from a Four-Year-Old.

2007-11-01T21:30:00.001-04:00

"I'm going to be a mommy."

--Uh-huh.

"I'm going to have a baby."

(Pause)

"I think I'll stay in the hospital for 3 days."

--Whatever you'd like

"I think I'll just stay for two. Until I'm feeling better."

From the Mouth of the Hollister Greeter

2007-10-09T23:03:00.004-04:00

Hey there do you wear Hollister jeans?
We've got some awesome styles. They're in the back.
You should check 'em out.

(awesome)

Thanksgiving

2007-10-09T22:50:00.000-04:00

"I'm in a giving mood,
and it's my turn to give." She said.
"What shall I receive?" He said
"My body." She said.
"Happy Thanksgiving." He said.
"Enjoy me." She said
"Hold still." He said

The Best Thing He Heard from a Gay Celeb.

2007-09-24T20:46:00.000-04:00

"He's so gay, when he coughed twelve cocks fell out of his mouth."

2007-09-19T21:29:00.001-04:00

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Count-Palatine Munro the Funereal of Piddletrenthide Under Booth
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

a six word story (with thanks to TRH)

2007-09-19T21:26:00.001-04:00

The Nurse came. He was cured.

a lark

2007-09-19T21:22:00.000-04:00

hand in hand,
skin on skin,
mouth to mouth,
what lovely sin.

September

2007-09-01T18:24:00.000-04:00

Take off that periwinkle dress.
Darlin', replace those blues with red.
Choose passion to undress
those clouds inside your head.

From the Department of 'Can't get there from here'.

2007-08-27T15:03:00.000-04:00

"We ain't got nothing 'til we get something."

- American Tourist at Saint Lawrence Market.

Great Book Titles: Pt 1.

2007-08-23T21:49:00.000-04:00

Honey, I've left you for the dead!

(A love story?)

The Nose Knows

2007-08-21T21:59:00.000-04:00

She was over him. The relationship was done.
She was sure of it the day she noticed that that
she didn't like the way he smelled.
Something had changed.
Lovers have scents.
Ex-lovers have odours.

Sylvia Plath at the Bed and Bath

2007-08-21T21:47:00.000-04:00

(painted on the wall of the home supply superstore)

"- There must be quite a few things that a hot
bath won't cure - but I don't know many of them."

(I wonder what she should have said about the kitchen.)

Totally Actual Teenage Poetry

2007-08-16T22:26:00.000-04:00

Love is a four letter word.
Take heed, it hurts.
For as I was told,
and as I believe,
if it hurts,
you are in love.
Follow that hurt until your heart explodes.

The Lonliness of the Long Distance Lover

2007-08-13T21:31:00.000-04:00

He came with eager delight.
Her name upon his lips,
His mind all over her body.

With Regards to William Carlos Williams (sorry - no chickens)

2007-08-01T21:18:00.000-04:00

Up Against the Wall and in a Hole with 1000 Knives

2007-07-30T22:19:00.000-04:00

He had writer's block but that was the least of his problems. He awoke that Monday morning and attempted to look for the right metaphor - The one he had lost earlier.

It was a lost cause.

Until later in the day when he found it underneath the morning paper in the kitchen.

It read:
"He was a fish trapped in a barrel. "

Sadness fell upon him when he realised that he was lost.
He was just all mixed up.